photos.words.music.

Wander through the pages of this blog for poems, photos, stitch witch creations, and other endeavors. All by E. Renae. That's Erika Renae to you. Enjoy the meandering.


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Permalink It’s true. I have a right to eat ice cream if I want to, wear funny glasses if I want to, dance if I want to… and take birth control if I want to.Have you checked out Women are Watching yet? You probably should. 
Permalink Classic Sally Mann. Frank, honest. Remember holding a twig and pretending it was a cigarette? Oh, how we wanted to be adults, how we all wanted to be sexy, even at 11 or 12, sometimes even younger. How we all held this same defiant gaze. Hello mama, I will be an independent woman and I will strike a pose like I don’t give a shit, even if I do more than anything. 
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Let’s talk photography: WOMEN

I’m writing papers every single week about photos, photographers, & photographic processes. I’m sharing this short piece illuminating Leibovitz’s work from the 90’s, because I think it relates so closely to the political climate right now. Annie Leibovitz put this collection together in a book form back in 1999 - a complex look at women of this century. And yes, we should be looking at women right now. We should be hearing their stories and listening to their concerns. When an all-male panel is testifying on birth control, it’s clear we have some fighting (and some screaming) to do. Here are a few photos of women that scream in their own ways.


“Each of these pictures must stand on its own. But the ensemble says, So this is what women are now-as different, as varied, as heroic, as forlorn, as conventional, as unconventional as this.” - Susan Sontag

Annie Leibovitz is a household name when it comes to photography. She started out at Rolling Stone, but over her career, she has shot covers for a variety of magazines - including Vogue. I’ve always been a fan of her covers and fashion photography, but recently I’ve become familiar with her work outside of the glamour magazine world. In particular, her collection of photographs of women.

Women truly captures a variety of individual stories within each photograph. In every picture, Leibovitz utilizes different photographic techniques. There are different levels of tonality, some photos in black and white, others in color. Her photograph of Louise Bourgeois, a sculptor, is
particularly beautiful. She captures the many creases, lines, and wrinkles across Bourgeois’ face, utilizing the way the light is splayed over the woman’s cheekbone. The photograph is crisp, clear, and feels as though we have caught the subject during a private moment of silent reflection. Additionally, though the sculptor has her eyes closed, you still follow the line of her gaze to her hands. Leibovitz structures the photograph to allow the many signs of age to point us to the part of this woman’s body that allows her to create and mold and sculpt.

The Women series is very successful at displaying the many photographic talents of Leibovitz. Her photo of Missy Giove, a Colorado mountain biker, showcases her grasp on the power of movement in a photograph. The photo reminds me of Robert Capa’s photographs of war. The rushing quality, the blurriness in certain sections - all while Giove’s face is the most in focus piece of the picture. Looking at the photo, the viewer can almost feel as though they are speeding along with Giove and it’s the look of determination across her face that continues to propel you through the photograph.

In one of the photographs, Leibovitz calls back to past photographic work. Her photograph of
Martina Navratilova immediately reminded me of Lewis Hine’s 1920 photograph of a man working on a steam pump. Much of Hine’s photographs captured men at work, often doing
incredibly laborious or dangerous jobs that required agility and strength. As a tennis player, Navratilova is similarly reliant on the strength of her body - specifically her arms. It is the tonal strength in both photographs that helps show the glare of the machines and how they loom above each subject, while still successfully capturing the muscles, as they flex and work hard to pull at parts of the machinery. Part of Leibovitz’s strength in this photo is that she is not only referring back to past photographic work, she is using the juxtaposition to illuminate the way women’s roles are continuously changing. As Sontag puts it, women are now “different” and “unconventional” compared to the past. Perhaps unconventional in the fact that we can now often be as conventional or unconventional in our lives as we choose.

One of my favorite things about Leibovitz’s photography is that she develops some of the most unbelievable portraiture. In this collection, she cycles between posed portraits and photos that are more in the moment, but in all of her photographs she is able to capture an essence within each woman. Each picture truly does tell a story, and they are all incredibly different ones.

That last photograph of Leibovitz’s that I will include is an incredible example of a more posed photograph that still manages to portray an incredibly tender and personal moment. The photograph features actress Gwyneth Paltrow and her mother, Blythe Danner. I laughed when I noticed that Leibovitz did not choose to title this photograph, Gwyneth Paltrow with mother, Blythe Danner. As with all of her other photographs, they are listed by name and profession only. I laughed because Leibovitz is completely right to not note Danner as Paltrow’s mother; you don’t need this in the notes because it’s so obvious in the photograph. The image is gorgeous; the lighting is soft and the colors are delicate. The cool green behind the women emphasizes the warmth and tenderness in their faces. The peacefulness to Paltrow’s face is of absolute and total safety. Her quiet face and closed eyes immediately conjures the feeling so associated with being looked after by a parent. Equally disarming is Danner’s somewhat quiet look into the camera, still steady and intense - she is clearly keeping careful watch over the woman in her arms.

Overall, I feel that what I love most about Leibovitz and this collection of her work is not only her ability to make beautiful photographs, but her interest in looking at women in art through a more social context. In my own work, I am most fascinated by people. I love being able to take a photograph and successfully capture a moment, and within that moment, a story with depth and detail. Beyond this, I have always loved photographing the women in my life and have personally found them to be photographic subjects who are more willing to be vulnerable with the camera. I am including a photo that is also a mother and daughter scene - it was a quickly captured photograph, but remains a favorite of mine. I love the symmetry of the table - and the almost mirror image of the two women, as though they are the young and old version of the same person.

It is only a theory, but I believe that for many women being documented is a way to assert their humanity and own emancipation. In a photograph, to gaze at a camera, to create a persona for yourself and be able to leave behind an actual imprint is a sign of freedom. Through photographs, women are able to document their triumphs - and also their struggles. They are able to raise the question of who they are and as Sontag explains, “there is no equivalent “question of men.” Men, unlike women, are not a work in progress.” In many ways she is completely correct; women are an ever-continuing work in progress. While we move forward in certain freedoms, we are still set back in many ways. We have jobs we couldn’t have years ago, but are still beat by our partners. We can wear the clothing we choose, but we still have to fight for birth control and to have rights over our bodies. It is this dichotomy that Leibovitz captures and proves her to be not only a talented photographer, but a skilled social commentator.

Permalink LUMIERE BROTHERS. Untitled, c. 1907-15 Autochrome.(The Autochrome Lumière is an early color photography process.)Unbelievably beautiful. Makes me long for the beach and a light sundress. A lucky finding when doing homework for my art history class…
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Cranberries

I wrote that it was the first of the new year
and that I could not imagine what to do
with myself.

I struck out to thrift alone, in desperate
search of a centerpiece for my
barren mantle.

These are the important things:
the laundry bag laying across the floor
in tatters.

My sweetheart hums along in the kitchen
slicing garlic cloves and laying out
the basil.

I had not imagined it would be so simple,
or that the sweet tug of his arms would always
be enough.

But here I stand in the new year with a newly
framed picture of kissing doves for the
quiet stairwell. 

I have gone to market for Vermont grown cranberries 
for my centerpiece and discover I
am my godmother.

Or I am my mother. Or my aunt. Or I am my
sisters. But I am mostly a bit of wick dipped
in hot wax.

And I am fit into my love like an electrified
kerosene lamp. Faded roses on my shade,
bright light in my center.

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The Unmanned K-MAX® named one of the 50 Best Inventions of 2011 by Time Magazine

So proud! As a flight inspector for Kaman Aerospace, my father has spent several kmaxyears developing and testing an unmanned helicopter. This helicopter was recently ranked as one of the 50 Best Inventions of 2011 by Time Magazine! The aircraft has been lauded for providing “a safer way to supply troops deep inside hostile territory.”  The Unmanned K-MAX recently became the first-ever U.S. Marine Corps unmanned aircraft system to deploy in an operational environment having arrived in Afghanistan.

How cool is that?

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"If you could rape anyone who would it be?"

…what kind of person thinks it’s okay to ask a question like this on a recruitment questionnaire for a fraternity? Perhaps an ignorant person? Or an incredibly sexist person? Or a person that thinks it’s totally normal and awesome to condone sexual violence?

In any case, the UVM chapter of Sigma Phi Epsilon has some ‘splaining to do. Their website makes the claim that “[the] chapter of Sigma Phi Epsilon consists of men who wish to develop into balanced leaders here at UVM.” Really? REALLY?! You want to develop into balanced leaders?

I will give you two hints on how to be “balanced leaders.”

1. Women and men are all people. Humans. Equals. All with a right to consent. Treat them as such. People are not objects or merely a means to a fantasy. When you ask your brothers to think about who they would rape, if it were not for the apparently pesky laws that make this a crime, you are condoning a horrible act of violence that many women AND men have been victims of.

2. True leaders set examples through their actions. Your fraternity’s principles are diligence, brotherly love, and virtue. I would think you would expect all leaders within your fraternity to embody these characteristics. Isn’t that what the recruitment process is all about? Continuing to find - and embrace like-minded students who embody all that is Sigma Phi Epsilon? Clearly, your leaders have an incredibly perverse idea of what virtue means. Virtue. Arete. Moral excellence. Remember that you are setting an example for the young men vying to join your warped organization, and you are setting an example for them that promotes violence.

You should have heeded this advice from the beginning, SigEp brothers.

For all those interested in shutting down this behavior (and in turn, shutting down the frat) - for those of you interested in sending a message that this kind of “balanced leadership” is NOT OKAY…

SIGN THE PETITION to shut down Sigma Phi Epsilon - Vermont Gamma.

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10 reasons why I am probably an adult.

I was a theatre kid in high school. No surprise there. Around the holidays one year, we performed this heartwarming, full of nostalgia thing that consisted of 25 little mini plays all collected together, with an overarching theme of “what does it mean to be an adult.” At 16, I figured by 25 I would have all of that figured out. Of course, this could not be further from the truth and the only aspects of myself that feel like they’ve changed are the following:

1. My cats can throw up as much as they want and my gag reflex is totally gone. This seems important, because in one of the scenes in the play, there was some line about finally being able to take the gunk out of the sink with bare hands. And how that means you are an adult. Yes, I can now touch gunk in the sink too without wanting to vom. Gross.
2. I sort of like vacuuming. It’s like a zen space where I can’t hear anything and no one can bother me. I think, if I had an actual house, I would feel the same way about mowing the lawn. Total white noise solitude.
3. Sometimes, 10pm really feels like 1am.
4. Sometimes, buying things for my apartment is as fun as buying make-up, dresses, purses, or brightly colored bras. Hey, everyone has their favorite guilty pleasure splurges. Sometimes, I get off on buying pillows. PILLOWS. Once, I bought a glass jar to hold olive oil and it gave me an O face. Not a lie.
5. I baby my cats like they are little children. Very spoiled ones. I do realize this probably moves me from adult and straight to senile.
6. Seems I have finally (almost) learned the lesson my father has spent years trying to drill into my head. “Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.” Despite this harsh stance, he still helped me put together a science project the night before it was due, when I was 8. At 16, I cared even less about science projects and just “made up” all of my findings. And got a C. Lesson learned?
7. For good measure, my mother’s constant admonition has also, sort of, settled in. “The world does not revolve around you, Erika Renae.” The boyfriend would probably disagree and claim that I still regard myself as the sun.
8. Hangovers seem worse. Way worse.
9. I finally understand what money means. It means: debt, anxiety, and bills. I have decided I will be a full-blown adult when I actually have a savings account that doesn’t always tell me I have a zero balance. I kid! I kid! There might be twenty bucks in it…
10. If you don’t use it, you lose it. The idea of taking any classes again exhilarates me, but I’ve realized I’ve spent so long NOT paying crucial attention to my grammar and spelling and NOT reading 8,000 books each semester (English major), that I’ve actually forgotten how to spell words. WHAT THE FUCK. This is why, when I presented my father with my essays at 16, he never caught the mistakes. He fell into the gap too. 

I think the most bare moments, when I truly realize I’m not completely out of touch with the world around me anymore (a quality unique to puberty), are the moments when I yell at my boyfriend and sound exactly like my mother yelling at my father.

You know you’ve ALL had these moments. The moments when you think: holy hell, I’ve got an apartment and bills and a partner that I LIVE with and pets and I’m buying candle holders at Christmas Tree Shops and I just spent way too much at the grocery store and the laundry is piling up and OhMyGodISoundJustLikeMyMother.

The End

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August

Left the wind breezing
through the back porch
like a flying sheet, like
paper bags.
Steadied nothing in the 
air, as in you, as in 
the simple feeling to the
curve in your spine or
the sweet taste of sweat.
For pained children are not as
silent as they are screaming.
And addled coward is not as
screaming as he is silent.
And stolen hearts are not
as cold as they are
broken banjos.

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